Detoxification & The Master Cleanse: Day Six

Food Addiction Is…

Unless you’ve been addicted to a substance or activity in the past, you may not be able to relate much to the following. When the subject comes up in conversation I often hear comments like “They should just stop. I did.” I also hear opinions voiced on shipping all drug addicts and alcoholics off to some distant island or other words that put them down as second-class citizens and a waste of space. This always saddens me a little – knowing addiction is looked down upon as a personal failing in our society. Perhaps the explanations below will make the issue a bit more relateable for those who’ve never tasted what it’s like to have an “addictive personality.”

Coffee and me have plagued my ability to be a bright beacon of shining and vibrant health for about 3 years now. It’s a consistent, cheap, reliable and easy pleasure. It’s quick. The side effects are minimal. It’s socially accepted and encouraged. Dealers promoting it’s use can be found on every corner. It’s highly addictive. It’s a drug.

There have been many, many years where I didn’t drink coffee at all. Instead I’d have herbal or green tea or fresh juice at cafes and at social gatherings. People would comment on how “healthy” I was, avoiding caffeine. (It is strange that so many of seem to know instinctively that relying on coffee to give us that boost or mental lift is not a good way to create health and happiness – but we do it anyway.)

The funny thing is, I don’t even LIKE coffee! It’s the milk and sugar I like! You could wave bags of fresh beans under my nose and surround me with cups of strong black joe and I wouldn’t be the slightest bit interested. So, it’s probably more the sugar I’m addicted to. Nevertheless, drinking coffee is my preferred mode of delivery of my addiction (some people like to inject, some to snort, others to smoke etc…). Hot, cold, iced, I don’t care as long as it’s sweet and stimulating!

Important note: as a health practitioner I very much subscribe to the idea “everything in moderation including moderation.” I am not a food nazi and do not think everyone should give up all their gustatory pleasures in pursuit of health. I don’t really have anything against coffee (I’m not on some fanatical quest to bring down the corporate giants in the industry and free the western world from their tyrannical, money-grubbing grip). I don’t mind sweet drinks or hot chocolate or tea on occasion. What I struggle with is the sense of being controlled by a substance. I can’t resist. I have no choice. To know that if coffee is in my home, I HAVE to have it, that I keep wanting more of it, that I think about it every single morning and that my day’s not complete without it. It makes me feel powerless and completely dependent (independence and freedom is something that I value beyond all else so this is quite a painful experience). I don’t like it. I don’t like it at all.

Coffee for me has always been a kind of guilty pleasure (see above paragraph)  – I’ve always known it’s not good for me and that my body reacts negatively when I drink it (excess internal heat, immediacy in my bowel movements, tummy rumblings, anxiety, major speeding up in my thoughts and a loss of focus and ability to concentrate, insomnia if I drink it too late in the day and so on…). To make myself feel better about using it, I created some rules around it’s consumption:

1. I drink it alone, first thing in the morning while reading a good book - it’s never as enjoyable when there’s other people around and I have to make conversation – it’s very much a solitary pleasure for me made even better by entertaining education on a topic I’m passionate about.
2. I only have one cup a day - any more than that and I go a bit bonkers. The amount of sugar I use in coffee also seems to really affect my appetite – one cup of sweet coffee at 7.30 am can keep me going till 3.00 pm! This is definitely NOT a good thing for my integrity, my sanity, my blood sugar and my pursuit of vibrantly, shining health.
3. I only take my coffee very hot, very milky and very sweet - nothing else will do. I’m not interested when someone else makes it (they can never make it as yummy as I can!). Condensed milk with 3 sugars in it or sweetened condensed milk with one sugar. Disgusting but my GOD! It tastes good!
4. I have it before 9.00 am – early morning is a magical time and drinking coffee early always seems to taste better. Plus, if I drink it too late, I have trouble sleeping with a very restless mind.
5. I prefer coffee it when it’s cold outside - double the pleasure! Yummy sweetness and yummy hot drink warming me from the inside. Big comfort factor here! So much so that I have vetoed it when it’s one of those really steamy and humid days. (But alas! I live on Springbrook mountain which is pretty much always at least 5 degrees cooler than ground level…) I actually think this is very much related to childhoods spent in Canada in winter – to go out into the snow and the cold and to come back in with rosie cheeks to hugs and a nice, warm cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows floating in it! Heaven!

When I think about my other guilty pleasures and addictions (the details are for another time and place), I find many other “rules” hiding under the surface. Like. I had to have a clean and organised space no matter what (a safety measure – I could never be busted or taken by surprise if I always knew where everything was) and I always paid my bills no matter what (conscience I guess – I would go so far and no further because my own internal set of rules prevented me from B & E and other illegal activities to get what I needed). Or, I had to give careful consideration to the music that was playing to create the mood or ambiance. Another big one that may sound like a familiar rule is “to consume until there’s nothing left”.

And so, I fast. I give my body and mind a bit of pause to see what’s really important. I give myself a new perspective to understand how to loosen the grip of foods that have power over me. It’s a tool. It works for me!

Do you have any food addictions that you feel guilty about? (please, please tell me I’m not the only one!)
Do you have any “rules” around indulging in them?
What does food addiction mean to you?

I’d love to know…