Detoxification & The Master Cleanse: Day Two
What Do I Need To Do?
Every day take:
210 mLs of fresh squeezed lemon juice
210 mLs of maple syrup (the real stuff in glass, not the fake flavouring attempt in plastic)
1775 mLs of water
1/2 tsp of cayenne pepper
Mix it all up, pour it into some jugs (I’m using a thermos) and drink throughout the day (or whenever hungry).
Also…
In the evening or morning (whatever you prefer) take:
1 tbsp sea salt in
887 mL of warm water (Ugh!)
or
1 cup of laxative tea each day
and drink as much water as you like in addition
I’m letting my anal retentive qualities come out (I could only find references to pints and gallons!) but near enough is good enough : )
Seriously, it actually tastes quite good! I think I’m going to try it with hot water for a nice cuppa…
Below is what I can look forward to with the master cleanse!
- Dissolve and remove toxins and mucous from the body – oh, mucous how I love thee! The snot in the morning, the gunk in the eyes, the occasional gluey ear, the phelgm on the chest after cheese, haunted by the sweet sounds of fellow house inhabitants hawking up sputum…
- Clean the kidneys and digestive system – I had a urinary tract infection once – an experience I NEVER want to repeat again! Bring on the clean kidneys! Put an end to constipation! To mention an often quoted fact – the average person has about 2 1/2 kgs of undigested meat in their bowels when they shuffle off. No thank you! How much is that weighing you down!
- Cleanse the glands and cells of the body – Go pituitary! Go hypothalamus! Go thyroid! I love you guys! You govern ALL of me!
- Remove waste and hardened matter in the joints and muscles - Hmmm… don’t really have any hardened stuff I think but never want to get any either! Arthritis doesn’t have to be a “natural” part of getting older – I think it can be reversed too!
- Relieve pressure and irritation in the nerves, arteries and blood vessels - I wear glasses for distance vision and I’ve had the experience previously of fasting and noticing my vision getting sharper and clearer. Very cool thought to think that I can relieve pressure in those hundreds of tiny capillaries that are feeding and cleansing my eyes and optic nerve. Very cool indeed. Imagine the implications for cholesterol build up and heart disease!
- Create a healthy blood stream – who wouldn’t want one of these? See the amoeba entry on day one for more info on the importance of a healthy circulatory system – keep blood moving well, getting nutrients in and crap out!
- Return youthfulness to everybody, even the elderly - I LIKE that! I like it a lot.
3.36 pm
Who would’ve thought that just having water alone would be easier than actually consuming calories!?! I feel crappy. Really crappy. Waves of nausea keep overwhelming me and my mouth floods with saliva. I go and stand over the kitchen sink ready for gushes of maple syrup flavoured lemon gunk to arise but nothing happens. Grooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnn. I feel crappy. Massive headache that started yesterday, non-stop sickly pounding in my head. Moan. Groan. I feel crappy. Really crappy. I keep taking deep breaths – they seem to help for a moment. That moment is o so precious…
4.29 pm
Phew! It passed! Note to self: Detoxification comes in waves. Just gotta learn how to surf them…