I “Need” Something, Anything, Everything!

I ran out of maple syrup today (horror of horrors!) and as a result didn’t have the right amount to add to the lemon and water and cayenne pepper (and no opportunity to buy some more). I’ve been MASSIVELY hungry ALL day! This is the first time in a week I’ve felt genuinely hungry and I like could actually eat (rather than just think about eating). This, combined with waking up tired led to an overall experience of feeling like something’s missing, my tank is empty and the thought of “needing something” to keep me going was at the forefront of my mind all day.

Flashback to insight from 40 day fast!!! I don’t “need” something to keep going. I “need” to stop and listen to my body. I “need” rest. My God that’s hard to do! There are SO many things I want to do and food is such an easy way to keep my energy up to do them! The question of “needing” something touches on so many aspects of our lives – it seems we are taught to believe that what we need is outside of us, that the answers to our problems can only be found in that cream bun or cup of coffee, in alcohol, in the affirmations of others, in religion, in more money, in results and achievements,  in beliefs, in sex, in work, in possessions in everything other than us… This is not a new thought or some twist on a personal philosophy, it’s just something that rings true for me – everything we need is inside us, right now. We are everything we ever “need”.

I made myself stop. I put my feet up. I did some slow, deep breathing for 20 minutes. I felt amazing. My tank is full. I am complete. I don’t “need” anything. Why on earth don’t I do this more often?!?

On a purely physical note I’ve also noticeably lost weight – this is really surprising to me as on my 40 day fast, I didn’t really notice my body getting smaller until after about a month! My simple explanation for this is because my body is still consuming a fair amount of calories (210 mLs of pure maple syrup every day), my body hasn’t gone into full starvation mode where no or minimal fat burning takes place. I’m sure there’s a much more complete and scientific explanation but for where I’m at today, that will do nicely. Losing weight feels kinda nice actually – starting to notice bones that weren’t there before and my pants falling down around my hips. It’s interesting because I don’t actually want to lose weight – I don’t even weigh myself and haven’t since I was 15 or so. I’m not really trying to change the way my body looks and I’m quite happy with its size and shape – it’s more like a fringe benefit but one that I can now understand motivates many people – perhaps losing weight is addictive in itself?

What are your experiences of losing weight?
What does it feel like to you?
How do you fill up your empty tank?

Food Addiction Is…

Unless you’ve been addicted to a substance or activity in the past, you may not be able to relate much to the following. When the subject comes up in conversation I often hear comments like “They should just stop. I did.” I also hear opinions voiced on shipping all drug addicts and alcoholics off to some distant island or other words that put them down as second-class citizens and a waste of space. This always saddens me a little – knowing addiction is looked down upon as a personal failing in our society. Perhaps the explanations below will make the issue a bit more relateable for those who’ve never tasted what it’s like to have an “addictive personality.”

Coffee and me have plagued my ability to be a bright beacon of shining and vibrant health for about 3 years now. It’s a consistent, cheap, reliable and easy pleasure. It’s quick. The side effects are minimal. It’s socially accepted and encouraged. Dealers promoting it’s use can be found on every corner. It’s highly addictive. It’s a drug.

There have been many, many years where I didn’t drink coffee at all. Instead I’d have herbal or green tea or fresh juice at cafes and at social gatherings. People would comment on how “healthy” I was, avoiding caffeine. (It is strange that so many of seem to know instinctively that relying on coffee to give us that boost or mental lift is not a good way to create health and happiness – but we do it anyway.)

The funny thing is, I don’t even LIKE coffee! It’s the milk and sugar I like! You could wave bags of fresh beans under my nose and surround me with cups of strong black joe and I wouldn’t be the slightest bit interested. So, it’s probably more the sugar I’m addicted to. Nevertheless, drinking coffee is my preferred mode of delivery of my addiction (some people like to inject, some to snort, others to smoke etc…). Hot, cold, iced, I don’t care as long as it’s sweet and stimulating!

Important note: as a health practitioner I very much subscribe to the idea “everything in moderation including moderation.” I am not a food nazi and do not think everyone should give up all their gustatory pleasures in pursuit of health. I don’t really have anything against coffee (I’m not on some fanatical quest to bring down the corporate giants in the industry and free the western world from their tyrannical, money-grubbing grip). I don’t mind sweet drinks or hot chocolate or tea on occasion. What I struggle with is the sense of being controlled by a substance. I can’t resist. I have no choice. To know that if coffee is in my home, I HAVE to have it, that I keep wanting more of it, that I think about it every single morning and that my day’s not complete without it. It makes me feel powerless and completely dependent (independence and freedom is something that I value beyond all else so this is quite a painful experience). I don’t like it. I don’t like it at all.

Coffee for me has always been a kind of guilty pleasure (see above paragraph)  – I’ve always known it’s not good for me and that my body reacts negatively when I drink it (excess internal heat, immediacy in my bowel movements, tummy rumblings, anxiety, major speeding up in my thoughts and a loss of focus and ability to concentrate, insomnia if I drink it too late in the day and so on…). To make myself feel better about using it, I created some rules around it’s consumption:

1. I drink it alone, first thing in the morning while reading a good book - it’s never as enjoyable when there’s other people around and I have to make conversation – it’s very much a solitary pleasure for me made even better by entertaining education on a topic I’m passionate about.
2. I only have one cup a day - any more than that and I go a bit bonkers. The amount of sugar I use in coffee also seems to really affect my appetite – one cup of sweet coffee at 7.30 am can keep me going till 3.00 pm! This is definitely NOT a good thing for my integrity, my sanity, my blood sugar and my pursuit of vibrantly, shining health.
3. I only take my coffee very hot, very milky and very sweet - nothing else will do. I’m not interested when someone else makes it (they can never make it as yummy as I can!). Condensed milk with 3 sugars in it or sweetened condensed milk with one sugar. Disgusting but my GOD! It tastes good!
4. I have it before 9.00 am – early morning is a magical time and drinking coffee early always seems to taste better. Plus, if I drink it too late, I have trouble sleeping with a very restless mind.
5. I prefer coffee it when it’s cold outside - double the pleasure! Yummy sweetness and yummy hot drink warming me from the inside. Big comfort factor here! So much so that I have vetoed it when it’s one of those really steamy and humid days. (But alas! I live on Springbrook mountain which is pretty much always at least 5 degrees cooler than ground level…) I actually think this is very much related to childhoods spent in Canada in winter – to go out into the snow and the cold and to come back in with rosie cheeks to hugs and a nice, warm cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows floating in it! Heaven!

When I think about my other guilty pleasures and addictions (the details are for another time and place), I find many other “rules” hiding under the surface. Like. I had to have a clean and organised space no matter what (a safety measure – I could never be busted or taken by surprise if I always knew where everything was) and I always paid my bills no matter what (conscience I guess – I would go so far and no further because my own internal set of rules prevented me from B & E and other illegal activities to get what I needed). Or, I had to give careful consideration to the music that was playing to create the mood or ambiance. Another big one that may sound like a familiar rule is “to consume until there’s nothing left”.

And so, I fast. I give my body and mind a bit of pause to see what’s really important. I give myself a new perspective to understand how to loosen the grip of foods that have power over me. It’s a tool. It works for me!

Do you have any food addictions that you feel guilty about? (please, please tell me I’m not the only one!)
Do you have any “rules” around indulging in them?
What does food addiction mean to you?

I’d love to know…

To Laxative Or Not. That Is The Question…

Earlier…
food food food food food food I don’t care what food food food food food food OMG it’s everywhere! food food food food food food food food food food food first time I’ve really thought about food on this fast food food food food I want to eat food food food now food eat food food food not so bothered by the sight of food or the smell of food food food food just can’t food food food stop food food food thinking food food food about it food food food food you get my point food food food I want food food food I want to food food stop thinking about food food food………….

Thank God.

It passed.

Later…
Still got a headache. Very slight and is right at the back of my skull at the centre of the bit where the spine meets it. When I press the divet there my head feels better.

I’m very sensitive to smells today, very alive in present in my nose and my nasal cavities and feel like I’m being filled up with smell! It’s like I’ve got a bionic nose – I can smell the soap on people’s skin from a normal conversational distance!

I’ve also very sensitive to expressions of anger – I saw several parents yelling at their kids today and I just wanted run away. It felt like physical violence to me merely watching and listening to them. Normally I am quite sensitive to raised voices and emotional outbursts of anger but today I’m a fragile bunny with no defenses. I am a receiver with big antennas coming out of my mind and my heart picking up everything around me.

Saying that though, I feel extraordinarily clear with no anxiety, worry or negative thoughts at all.

My usual filters are completely gone. I am naked. I am ultra aware of everything, very clear vision, extremely tuned in to the rhythm and pulse of life happening all around and inside me. It’s all coming in and there’s so much magnificence to be aware of!

On another note, I’ve been looking into laxatives – some of the research I’ve been doing is telling me about how important it is to keep my bowels moving. I’m having a similar experience now like I had with my 40 day fast – just nothing moving down there at all! No discomfort or bloating – just NOTHING happening! (I’ve never used a laxative in my life! Just lucky I guess…) I bought some laxative tea from the health food shop today because the salt water is not doing what it’s supposed to be doing (salt and epsom salt in particular is a smooth muscle relaxant and is a traditional cure for constipation).

I’m a bit unsure about the whole laxative thing – there seems to be 2 main arguments:

1. When the body is fasting or in detoxification mode we are producing waste products that are being eliminated through our lungs, skin, kidneys, liver and colon. If you’re colon is not moving of it’s own accord, you must make it move either by laxatives (even the word makes me want to poo!), enemas or colonic cleansing of some kind. This fast was originally designed to include a litre or so of warm water with sea salt in it to bring on a number one. Usually of course, the consumption of dietary fibre keeps us regular but when you’re not consuming anything at all, there’s no fibre to encourage a dump (eeek! Sorry if that’s a little crass!)
2. Fasting is a 100% natural and instinctive process to restore health. The body is infinitely wise and all-knowing. If your body is not producing a bowel movement by itself of it’s own accord it knows what it is doing and will restore normal functioning when it is ready and when it is right. The more organic, trusting of natural processes and avoiding of man-made intervention the better. (This has been my personal view on creating vibrant health for quite a while now. However you can take this a bit far and I’ve learned how to listen to my body but take action when necessary the hard way)

One of the best examples I can give of taking point number 2 a little too far is with physical pain – I used to avoid all medication based pain killers entirely even when in extreme pain (lying awake in hospital for days unable to sleep with a spiral, compound fracture, 7 screws and a metal plate in my leg because I didn’t want to self-administer morphine, curled up in a ball rocking and crying because of extreme menstrual cramps, feeling like a failure when I’ve taken pain medicine, judging others harshly for reverting to panadol without even trying some lavender on the temples of some deep breathing, writhing in pain while attempting to give myself electro-acupuncture in a dentists chair while he removed one of my wisdom teeth and so on…). To state the obvious this is not the route to peace of mind and happiness. Western medicine is incredible in that it has the ability to quickly and easily alleviate severe pain. To make myself feel better about using it, I made up a rule – if the physical pain I am in is making me feel emotional / moody / grumpy / angry at others etc. I will take medication. Simple.

Anyway, back to laxative tea. I’m gonna give it a whirl. I’ll let you know how it goes (in quite probably excruciatingly precise detail…)

What are your thoughts on taking pills and medicine?
How do you deal with physical pain?
What alternatives (or bizarre and unusual methods) have you explored?

What would make anyone WANT to do a fast or detox?

Still got a headache which is really surprising. Nothing major, just a gently boom, boom at the back of my eyes. I felt really tired and heavy when I woke up this morning but effortless once I got going.

What I’m thinking about today is what would make someone want to do some kind of a fast or cleanse? What benefits would be tangible enough for people, in the midst of their busy lives, without going on some kind of health retreat, without leaving family or work commitments to do a fast or a cleanse or detoxification program? What would speak to you?

I know the benefits for me and how magically my life changes when I give my body a break from food but what would be the benefits for you? I can rabbit on all day about massive increases in energy, incredible clarity of thought, insight about life/relationships/food/death and everything in between, greater sensitivity of internal processes and awareness of how the body and mind respond to certain foods, curing chronic skin conditions and other diseases and food allergies, transforming the immune system response, cleansing the liver of harmful toxins, weight loss, greater creativity and vibrancy and passion, revitalising the whole body and mind… and phew! That’s only what I’ve personally experienced!

But this is not about me. (Really! It’s not! I swear!) I’m curious to hear what you reckon. What would make you want to do some kind of cleanse or fast? (I’m not talking about 40 days on water or anything so extreme – just a bit of a break.) What I think I’m really asking is what would be worthwhile and valuable enough for you to go through the pain (if you’ve been reading this so far then you know it’s not all pretty!) to get to the pleasure?

I was talking with a friend about this very question and to paraphrase, she spoke about eating a really healthy diet in general (apart from one or two occasional treats) and feeling good most of the time and not really having any real motivation to do a cleanse or a fast. She thought about it a little more and said, “Well, to get rid of my cellulite I spose.”  Cool, I said, so weight loss? She said “Yeah.”

This made me have a really good look at my own motivations for fasting and internal cleansing. Of course I want to be vibrantly healthy for the rest of my long, long life (with my mental and physical capacities fully intact till I die peacefully in my sleep at age 120) but there’s really only one thing I’m after. Insight. Heightened states of consciousness. Bliss. Total clarity. (Oops! That’s much more than just one thing!)

These are all totally subjective and internal processes – not tangible at all (my mind doesn’t really work in tangibilities I’m discovering. I’m much more interested in vast concepts and universal theories!). Apart from maybe a twinkle in my eye and a beatific smile on my face all the time (think the Dalai Lama here), you cannot tell whether or not I have achieved a state of clarity and insight and expanded consciousness. Losing weight’s a little different. It’s very easy to see. It’s about results. It’s easy to put your hands on. And, it’s easy to get feedback from others when they notice a change. So I pondered a little more on tangibility and my own personal goals with fasting and detoxification and couldn’t come up with anything. Nothing. Just a blank.

So, I need your help.

What benefit (tangible or otherwise) would make you want to do some kind of
internal cleanse, detox program or fast?
What would you want to get out of it? What results would you like to see?

I love to hear your thoughts…

Human Potential

Still got a slight headache but there’s an amazing brightness and clarity in my brain. It feels like something kinda snapped (in a good way) in the centre of my brain – like a rubber band stretched to tension point then released. Nice.

Woke up bright as a button at 3.30 am – silent mind. For the first time in ages I could hear the beautiful sound of the wind in the trees outside louder than the thoughts in my mind. I was going to get up and start working or some other creative pursuit but conditioning won out (I should be asleep at this time! I’ll be really tired tomorrow if I get up now!) and I just lay in bed listening to the wind till I fell back asleep about 5 am or so.

I don’t think the majority of people realise how good it is possible to feel. I don’t think many have had an experience of the true potential of the mind and the body. I don’t think people realise they walk around in a haze most of the time – a haze of busyness and decreased energy due to too much food or too much poor food or a million other things. This theory’s incomplete as yet (I’m gathering data so please send me your thoughts!) and I don’t mean to sound pompous but I think most people think they feel good. And they do! I’m not saying they don’t feel good. But just that feeling “good” has so many different levels of experience! I thought I felt “good” for the longest time but over the years different practices (fasting’s just one of them) have shown me greater and greater levels of “good”. What I thought was feeling “good” was really just feeling “OK”.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with feeling OK (indeed feeling OK is a heck of a lot better than feeling crappy!) but what if you could feel “amazing” and “incredible” and “uplifted” and “energised” and “vibrantly alive” each and every moment? I think you can. I guess that’s why I’m so committed to the cause of better health and wellbeing. I think too many of us settle for feeling “OK” perhaps not knowing it is possible to feel any other way. Imagine the potential of a world where every human on it felt “vital” and “pumped” and “charged” and “free”! What a blissful place our planet would be…

I’m sure you know what I mean, Health is such a subjective thing. Entirely personal. No amount of convincing from someone else can tell me that I feel “crappy” when I actually feel “good”. And also, no amount of self-talk and verbalisation can convince me that I feel “awesome” when I really feel like going back to bed (no matter how much positive thinking and affirmations I throw at myself!).

Continuing along this path… as a health coach, no amount of convincing from you that you feel “good” will convince me that you really do feel “good” if I see dark circles under your eyes or a slumped posture or a cold sore or you rubbing your temples. I’ll know. Your body will tell me in no uncertain terms that you’re probably a bit less than “OK” in reality even though your mouth may be saying you feel “good”.

I think the point I’m making here has got something to do with how easy it is for us to get a taste of “incredible”. Just stop eating and give your body a break for a few days! It’s a strange thought… that food clouds us, makes us hazy and less than what we are and an entirely experiential view I don’t think I can convince anyone of until they have a subjective experience of it themselves. Words are utterly inadequate to describe my current state of clarity, creativity and aliveness so I think I’ll stop trying…

What are your thoughts on human potential and feeling “good”?
What has been a peak experience for you?
Have you ever been able to maintain it? (If yes, please please PLEASE tell me how you did it!)

What Do I Need To Do?
Every day take:
210 mLs of fresh squeezed lemon juice
210 mLs of maple syrup (the real stuff in glass, not the fake flavouring attempt in plastic)
1775 mLs of water
1/2 tsp of cayenne pepper
Mix it all up, pour it into some jugs (I’m using a thermos) and drink throughout the day (or whenever hungry).
Also…
In the evening or morning (whatever you prefer) take:
1 tbsp sea salt in
887 mL of warm water (Ugh!)
or
1 cup of laxative tea each day
and drink as much water as you like in addition

I’m letting my anal retentive qualities come out (I could only find references to pints and gallons!) but near enough is good enough : )

Seriously, it actually tastes quite good! I think I’m going to try it with hot water for a nice cuppa…

Below is what I can look forward to with the master cleanse!

3.36 pm
Who would’ve thought that just having water alone would be easier than actually consuming calories!?! I feel crappy. Really crappy. Waves of nausea keep overwhelming me and my mouth floods with saliva. I go and stand over the kitchen sink ready for gushes of maple syrup flavoured lemon gunk to arise but nothing happens. Grooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnn. I feel crappy. Massive headache that started yesterday, non-stop sickly pounding in my head. Moan. Groan. I feel crappy. Really crappy. I keep taking deep breaths – they seem to help for a moment. That moment is o so precious…

4.29 pm
Phew! It passed! Note to self: Detoxification comes in waves. Just gotta learn how to surf them…

What are your experiences with detoxification? Had any blinding hangover epiphanies?
Ever done this particular cleanse before?

Do I really want to do this?

Earlier
When I talk about fasting, the first thing someone usually says to me is “why?” “what are you going to get out if it?” “why would you not want to eat?” This question is often followed closely on it’s heels by a brief sideward glance (I think people actually think I’m a little insane/strange/weird/extreme/ridiculous/or from another world far, far, far from planet earth…).

This is what I’m calling “The Year Of My Simplicity” and fasting is the ultimate in simplicity. Using nothing but food and the body to heal itself.  Simplicity of approach, of diet, of mind, of life, of attitude and of action seem to me to be the best way to create incredible health and vibrant wellbeing so I’m keeping things simple. I think we make things much more complicated than they need be. We seem to get some strange kick out of complicating life – intellectual stimulation perhaps? A good story? An excuse to fail? A party trick?

Anyway… in keeping with the simplicity kick I’m on,  the purpose of fasting is, plainly put, to get the crap out of the body. Stuff in. Crap out. Pretty simple. That’s what detoxification is. Getting the crap out. And that’s what fasting does – get’s the crap out.

The simplest form of life on earth is an amoeba. Amoebas are tiny little creatures that have one cell. Just one. Amoebas need 3 things to keep them alive. 1. they need to take in nutrients 2. they need to get the crap out (or more poetically – eliminate the waste products of  metabolism) and 3. they need to live in a clean and appropriate environment. The other thing an amoeba needs to do is to keep moving around to get more nutrients in and to get out of an environment that’s become polluted with it’s own crap or the crap from some other organism. If an amoeba doesn’t move out of a toxic or crap-filled environment, it dies. Simple. See picture – this is an amoeba eating (pretty cool huh?).

For us humans in this magnificent trillion celled home we call a body, we have the same needs. Each and every one of our trillions of cells needs nutrients in and each and every one of those cells needs to get the crap out generated by the cell’s day to day activities. Every one of our cells needs a clean and fresh environment free from toxins and pollutants that the cell itself generates (there’s more to the toxin in the body story but this is a good place to start). Because we have SO many cells each needing nutrients in and crap out, it’s not practical for them all to keep moving around to escape a unclean environment so we’ve been given a brilliant system called the circulatory system which does all the moving and freshening up and keeping environment squeaky clean for us. It gives each and every one of our cells oxygen and nutrients and takes away the crap from the immediate environment both inside and outside of each cell. Our circulatory system gives every single one of our cells a bath, shampoo, exfoliation and towel dry every moment of every day. Perfect!

So, I fast or cleanse my internal environment to help my body do what it’s already doing. Simple. I fast to help my body do what it’s already doing, better.

Obviously, you don’t want to get ALL the crap out. It’s impossible. Generating crap is an integral part of being alive. Put another way, if your cells aren’t generating crap, you’re probably dead (or frostbitten or something). We just want to get the crap out in a more efficient and effective manner, that’s all.

And hence “The Master Cleanse” or “The Lemonade Diet”: a delightful concoction of lemon juice, maple syrup, cayenne pepper and water. Traditionally designed as a 10 day fast, you can do it and feel a difference in 3 or 7 days. You can be on this for up to 40 days they tell me but I’m definitely going to stop at 10. I like this idea of following a fast or cleanse to the letter so I can get a good idea of the actions it has in the body and mind. The drink actually tastes quite good (ask me again on day 10 though), very refreshing!

Later
I think this is going to be messy. Every time I have a glass of this lemon juice, maple syrup, cayenne pepper and water stuff I don’t feel all that well. Bit sick actually. Interesting though – I can feel my body becoming more alive already – it’s like a layer of skin or insulation or protection or a layer of my aura has been peeled off. I can feel more with my fingertips. I have a headache. I feel uncertain. I’m not sure I want to do this… Oooohhhhhhh….it’s ALL coming back to me now… what’ve I gotten myself into?!?

Do you ever want more simplicity in your life? Have you ever wished you were an amoeba?
How have you simplified your life in the past?

(read more…)

If you are, you’ve come to the right place! Hello and welcome! No matter how poor your health is now you will find here simple and practical ideas that will make a difference to the way you feel straight away and no matter how healthy you are, there are always greater and greater levels of awareness and vitality available to you.

Welcome to Susan’s Food For Thought! By popular demand, I’m back. My questionable sense of humour and unceasing ability to embarrass myself by prose have won over many. I’d also like to think my special blend of entertainment and education are making some small difference to some body, some where, some how…

If you’re reading this you’ve probably figured out by now that there are no shortcuts to vibrant health. You can’t snack on potato chips every day or have a couple of glasses of wine and take your supplements like a good boy or girl and expect to get away with it (believe me… I’ve tried!). You can’t continue to ignore the fact that you get a cold 3 or 4 times a year and think that’s OK because you feel OK the rest of the time  (Yup! Also tried that one!) or that you’re tired often or that stress and sleepless nights are taking their toll (Uh huh! That too.). Our bodies are constantly giving us loud and clear signs about what’s going on inside us. Learning to listen to these signs is the trick to creating vibrant health – becoming attuned to the messages our body is trying to tell us every day.

I don’t know about you but if I’m going to be alive (I was the last time I checked…) I want every day to be one lived with joy and celebration of that life because one day, it’s going to be gone.

That’s what this blog is about! Creating more health, more joy, more potential, more passion, more enthusiasm, more vibrancy, more vitality and MORE life!
(I’m not satisfied with a measly life expectancy of 85 – I wannna be here til I’m at least 120!)

What better way to celebrate than to start with a diary of the ins and outs, magical flashes of inspiration and profound revelations of another fast. What??? Why am I putting myself through this again??? Confession time. Coffee has snuck back in on tender wafts of freshly ground beans… (well, to be accurate I don’t even actually like coffee! Its the milk and sugar that seem to have me by the short and curlies)I was doing really well  – didn’t even think about coffee for 3 months after my big fast but somehow it rose from the dead to assault me afresh with fixations on my daily fix.) More about that later I’m sure…

Stay tuned and enjoy! Sign up for the RSS feed by email and share your thoughts on creating vibrant health. All comments, feedback, ideas for improvement, personal experiences and knowledge welcome!